Friday, August 18, 2006

Even racists still have to eat.

With the ever-increasing multicultural nature of US society a revolution has come in the eating habits of the average American. Exposed to the cuisine of different cultures, Americans have been enthralled with the foods and flavors of strange and exotic places. From little Thai restaurants in strip-malls in Texas to the Caribbean infused cuisine of Miami, Americans can’t get enough of the tasty treats offered by other cultures.

But this influx of new foods has created a conundrum for racists and xenophobes. While thoroughly enjoying some of these foods, with their strange and delicious mix of ingredients and spices, your average garden-variety racist seems to have problems accepting the fact that they “love the food, but hate the people” when it comes to some very popular ethnic items.

Now it seems they’ve found a solution to this problem, at least when it comes to America’s new number 1 condiment. A group of five clever entrepreneurs from San Antonio have introduced “Minuteman Salsa - America’s 100% US-born and bred Southwestern salsa”

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Apparently, not unlike the immigrants themselves that the minutemen wish to deter, foreign salsas have also been “slipping over the border” to “invade US pantries” and stolen the place of many traditional US condiments at diner tables across America.

America's Patriotic Salsa

Minuteman Salsa is proud to be America’s 100% US-born and bred Southwestern salsa.

You don’t support illegal immigration. Buy Minuteman Salsa and keep foreign-made salsa from slipping across the border into your pantry.

A portion of the proceeds of every sale of Minuteman Salsa will benefit the courageous men and women of the Minuteman Project, guarding America’s borders.

Evidently the company is also at the forefront of some amazing new technologies. According to the company's website they make their salsa from what they claim are inorganic materials. Whether this is some new form of cutting-edge genetic engineering using inorganic and organic materials or some heretofore-unknown technology, we can not be sure:

What are the ingredients? Tomatoes with tomato juice, salt, calcium chloride, citric acid, onions, Serrano peppers, cilantro, garlic, lemon juice, vinegar. It tastes great, and we don’t think any of the ingredients are organic.

The entrepreneurs first came up with the idea for their new product while watching the immigration rallies this past spring on TV and realized that the salsa they were eating at the time was “at odds with (their) values.” After thoroughly researching the economics of the salsa industry they realized that:

most salsa was made outside the United State by companies ... who contribute to flood of illegal immigration by employing foreign workers and using foreign produce. We weren’t going to compromise our values, and sure as heck weren’t going to stop eating salsa, so we had to create an alternative. Thus, Minuteman Salsa - America’s Patriotic Salsa was born.

Although not currently accepted by any economists, this new "theory" that manufacturing products in foreign countries using foreign labor and materials somehow directly contributes to a "flood of illegal immigration", has been gaining steam as of late in certain anti-immigration circles and will most likely become a major talking point for Lou Dobbs shortly. He'll be keeping a close watch for French streaming over the border due to Perrier and Grey Poupon I'm sure.

Launched this past July 4th, Minuteman salsa seems to be just the ticket for those who crave the tastes of other cultures yet really would prefer to have nothing to do with them.

Minuteman Salsa launches “Secure the Border” operation against foreign salsa

Minuteman Salsa, a delicious American-made and fully documented condiment. Minuteman Salsa is a Native Texan product containing no fat, low sodium, and 100% American pride.

“We’re sick and tired of foreign-grown produce and foreign-made salsa entering our country. Few Americans support illegal immigration, but they spend hard-earned dollars on what we see as illegal salsa,” explained Founder & CEO Ryan Lambert. “Foreign salsa takes American jobs, disrespects Americans sovereignty, and this Fourth of July, we’re encouraging Americans to re-declare our independence and deport foreign salsa.”

Perhaps this represents a whole new trend in racists/xenophobe foods. Hoping to cash in on America’s love of ethnic foods while still playing to ingrained racism, can it be long before we see KKK Kreplach and Aryan Nation Jamaican Beef Patties….I think not.


gracias a XP por encontrar esto

1 comment:

XicanoPwr said...

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin